Business Insight Zone

American has the right idea by posting YouTube videos like this one.*

Direct outreach — especially when used to accept blame — can help the company restore its image after this week’s debacle, when thousands of flights have been canceled because American Airlines planes didn’t meet F.A.A. standards.

But American chief Gerard Arpey and his lieutenants have a chance to make their outreach even better by the low-tech means of clarifying their language.

Hoover’s has always rejected jargon in its profiles. Indeed, you could say it’s our stock in trade. Corporate executives like Arpey would be better off if they did the same thing.

In the YouTube clip of his press conference, Arpey starts with a couple of very long sentences. His phrasing weakens his message apparently heartfelt apology to American’s customers, along with his acceptance of personal responsibility. Here’s how Arpey said it, broken out by sentence:

Good afternoon, everyone.

I want to, once again as I did in a press conference yesterday in Los Angeles, apologize to our customers impacted by the continued inspections on our MD-80 fleet.

We are doing everything we possibly can to re-accommodate our customers impacted on either other American Airlines flights, or other airline flights, to the extent other airlines are operating in markets where we can get our customers.

As I indicated yesterday, we obviously failed to complete this air-worthiness directive to the precise standards set by the F.A.A., and I take full personal responsibility for that.

This would have been better:

Good afternoon, everyone.

Just like yesterday, I want to give you an update about the continued inspections on our MD-80 fleet.

But first, I want to apologize again to our customers who have suffered through this problem.

We at American are doing everything we possibly can to get our customers where they need to go.

If we can get them there on another American Airlines flight, we’re doing it.

If it means a flight on other carriers, we’re doing that.

I said it yesterday and I’ll say it again: we obviously failed to satisfy the F.A.A.’s precise standards for air-worthiness for our MD-80’s, and I take full personal responsibility for that.

My version is actually a few words longer, but the words and the sentences are shorter. But shorter words and sentences also carry greater weight, because they help to get the point across more clearly.

They also avoid corporate-style jargon. Words like “impacted” and “re-accommodate” aren’t the words we use when we talk to our friends. They’re not the words we use in a heart-to-heart talk with a spouse or a parent. And so they don’t come across as sincere.

Arpey used a few other phrases that are hallmarks of officious speech, including:

• “to the extent”;
• “adverse circumstances”; and, worst of all,
• “at this time.”

“At this time” isn’t quite as bad as “at this point in time,” but it’s a phrase that no one ever uses in colloquial speech. We say “now” or “right now” — and executives should talk that way, too.

Pardon me as my college training in English lit. comes flooding out, but I recommend these two sources for corporate leaders — and their speechwriters — who are sincere about coming across as sincere:

• “Politics and the English Language,” a justly famous essay by George Orwell; and
• Strunk & White’s Elements of Style.

American has a tough row to hoe right now, and they seem to be making the best. They’re doing the right thing in P.R. terms by putting Arpey on the screen — and especially on YouTube, where the videos can be shared easily.

But they’ll do an even better job when Arpey loses the officious phrasing and talks in plain language instead. His remorse may well be real — but apologies in common language sound real.

UPDATE, Monday: Here are two more takes — both negative — on A.A.’s response to its passengers:

• Customer Experience Matters blog: AA Grounds Passengers; Response Gets A “D+”
• ConversationAgency blog: American Airlines – Failed Crisis Management

~

* We’re working on being able to embed these videos smoothly. Apparently there is some eldritch Web magic to do that is well beyond my ken. So for now, I’ll have to ask you to do it the old-fashioned way and follow the link. But then please come back and comment!